March 3 2009 - Getting Unblocked #18

How easy are decisions for you? If decision-making is blocked, that could affect every area of life... Read on!

"I can't decide... and it's driving me crazy." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Being in the middle of an incomplete decision can feel like being torn apart, or like going crazy, or like foggy confusion, or like pressure and stress from inside... And often there are outside pressures as well. On the other side of not being able to decide is flowing action in integrity with the whole self. That's what we want, isn't it?--to know what is right, and take action calmly and smoothly. And perhaps it would be just as good to know that the time is not yet right to act. I've spent a lot of time with people making decisions over the years, and one thing that is quite evident is that getting "freaked out" about the decision gets in the way of making it. Of course! Your body/being has so much wisdom about your next steps. Focusing is all about getting in touch with that wisdom. But it's not easy to create the allowing inner space for that wisdom to emerge if you are anxious, urgent, impatient. Not easy? Actually, it's impossible! That might sound discouraging, but what's next is truly amazing. When you can be Self-in-Presence, and turn toward the anxious or urgent or impatient parts of you, they shift from being part of the problem to being part of the solution. They have part of the wisdom, too.

Starting with the part that's pressuring you to decide

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If a decision is hard to make, try this: start by turning toward the part of you that is pressuring you to make the decision now. Notice how it feels in your body, or, if it's not a body feeling, how it looks or sounds.

There's likely to be something this part of you is worried will happen if you don't hurry up and make the decision... and underneath that, there is probably some unpleasant feeling that it doesn't want you to have to feel. Maybe it doesn't want you to have the decision "hanging over your head." Maybe it doesn't enjoy the uncertainty. Or something.

Whatever it lets you know, let it know you hear that... and keep listening. It may also want to show you what it wants you to be able to feel once the decision is made.

At some point, as it starts feeling heard, you're likely to feel a sense of relief or release, even though the decision itself is still there. You'll feel the calm that comes from being Self-in-Presence.

And that place of calm is a much better place from which to make decisions after all!

Comments

[Merry]

This is great info to know.